THE ABSENCE OF THE FATHER

According to the National Fatherhood Initiative—The proof is in: Father Absence Harms Children. “There is a father absence crisis in America. According to the U. S. Census Bureau, 19.7 million children, more than 1 in 4, live without a father in the home. Consequently, there is a father factor in nearly all social ills facing America today.”

It is a fact that most all negative behavior of children can be traced back to the reality of an absent father in their lives. No one can truly comprehend the void that children wrestle with when they don’t know their father. Many children in today’s culture have never met or seen their father. The hard truth is—fathers are absent. They are missing in the hearts of many of our children today.  

In my book, Endangered Masculinity, the question is asked: How Important is This? Notice the response found on page 22. “In an age where more and more fathers are absent in the home, how important is the covering of a father? The role of fatherhood is changing so fast and being redefined so quickly that most people are not even aware of the changes. The average home today is perceived as a single-parent home, usually led by the mother. In fact, the general rule in the home is to prepare daughters for independence. This does not mean that she may not marry, but that she should not be solely dependent on any man.” Whether we want to agree with this statement or not, the fact remains that there are not many eligible men today. Why is the man so consistently absent when it comes to wives and children? Furthermore, why is he absent from his own family and home?

This is not a new problem. If the truth were told, this is a spiritual challenge with spiritual consequences. No one can truly estimate the pain and suffering that children experience in the absence of a father. The hole in a child’s heart cannot be filled when that son or daughter is disconnected from their source. The father’s major role is to provide covering for his family. We know that this creates turmoil for the wife and children, but what about the man? What about the husband? Finally, what about the father? Men suffer too because they are outside of their created purpose. Men hurt because many of them are outside of their created responsibility. Every child needs the confirmation of a father, and every wife needs the security of a husband. The man was created to provide covering for his own family. I remind you that anything uncovered is exposed.

Mark, in his Gospel, shares the agony that a son or daughter may feel as a result of an absentee father. This account reveals the heartbreak every child experiences when they realize that they are no longer covered, but exposed. The Bible says: “At the sixth hour darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour. (34) And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? Which means, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” For the first time in His entire life Jesus experiences the reality of abandonment. He has been separated from His Heavenly Father. On an old rugged cross, dying for the sins of mankind, Jesus found Himself in darkness. There is a painful side of becoming an orphan. This remains the plight of so many children today in our culture. It is as though this was the norm. Men have always been distant. Jesus, having already known how precious His relationship was with His Father, must now experience His absence at a time when He needed Him most.

Jesus died on Calvary’s cross, an experience that forever changed Him. Picture this imagery of the Son of God separated from His Father. Also, think of the multitudes of children who experience this agony on a daily basis! The absentee father!